im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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