just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize