they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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