So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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