I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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