My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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