THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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