I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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