So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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