I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My vagina just clenched in fear
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