Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize