WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize