I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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