I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize