I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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