my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize