Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes

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(814): Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes http://tfl.nu/sox5

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

(612): View more from Minnesota

only room for one pussy in that bed.

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(262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy. (612): only room for one pussy in that bed. http://tfl.nu/8gho

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(515): View more from Iowa

After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

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(515): After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding http://tfl.nu/mxxu

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(720): View more from Colorado

I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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(720): I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit. http://tfl.nu/09qd

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(765): View more from Indiana

4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.

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(765): 4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84. http://tfl.nu/2w31

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(812): View more from Indiana

We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.

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(812): We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed. http://tfl.nu/r8jj

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us

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(610): Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us http://tfl.nu/1uhw

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(530): View more from California

Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

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(530): Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering. http://tfl.nu/vhlw

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.

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(630): I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. http://tfl.nu/dxkz

Replies (20) Good night (1014) Bad night (3811)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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(250): After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all http://tfl.nu/42sy

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(406): View more from Montana

Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar

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(406): Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar http://tfl.nu/9n3o

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(330): View more from Ohio

It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?

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(330): It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period? http://tfl.nu/rj9s

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(406): View more from Montana

We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!

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(406): We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?! http://tfl.nu/cb95

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(416): View more from Toronto

Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.

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(416): Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes. http://tfl.nu/v9h7

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(661): View more from California

This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.

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(661): This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas. http://tfl.nu/nydy

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