fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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