i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in the fireplace
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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