If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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