The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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