I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
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no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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