i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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