actually, I'm a sock model
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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