I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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