Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize