I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize