So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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