pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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