The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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