Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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