I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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