This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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