You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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