i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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