I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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