He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize