whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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