TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize