If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize