hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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