we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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