and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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