I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize