If i come over, it means nothing
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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