OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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