please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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