Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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