Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My feet surprised me
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