Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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